We have now been at Belle Starr Silverado ranch for a week almost

I have been at the Ranch for almost a week. I have fixed some pipes, fences, bought some hay, been feeding every morning and every night. I am trying so hard to make this work but I keep getting pushed back by some force that can't figure out the things I am trying to accomplish. Life is not easy here being the only ones doing all the chores on this large ranch, but we are surviving and making it work.

 I sometimes feel like there is a knife in my back, but I can't be sure of this. I may head back up north but I am also not sure of this. I have been offered many other opportunities out in this area with many ranches, but I like this place so much that I am not sure I can take them.

I guess we will have to see what happens today. There is a lady that is supposed to come out and take over the training I believe of the horses, I can't be sure of this because it is only the feeling I got, was not told to me. I can not work on a business if I'm being left in the dark with most of it, business partners are not supposed to keep you in the dark with stuff. All I want is a little security in knowing that I didn't split my family up to come out and work mine and Belles dreams for nothing, and if this doesn't happen soon then my family will be back together. I have the same dreams that Belle has and would like for these to come true, but I can't seem to find that click to make the dream a shared dream, and not just words.

I found a DARN good and very experienced ranch hand that is willing to come down and do all the ranch work. He is 70 yrs old and has started and ran MANY dude ranches, to include carriage ranches. He is also a retired paramedic (which is nice on a ranch!). If he doesn't come here then I may just go there! Course that's a joke, but would be nice to have him around, it would help a whole lot.

Just wanna say I miss you baby!